Going from One to the Other

So I wrote about this subject back in January, and have a few more thoughts on the subject. As I was re-reading the "rules" I have to think to myself about feelings not getting involved. Hypothetical situation here, if two people have been "hooking up" for some time now and words are being said here and there that indicate feelings for one another, when does this no longer become "hooking up", "booty call", or whatever it is? One person tries to bring the conversation up, the other avoids, yet it is the other who is showing signs of jealousy and signs that they care more that what it is. The other person cares as well. But this is a situation where things become "hazy".
Do you end things, before emotions become more than what they are now, if one person won't have the conversation, even though it's apparent that they care. I think I may have answered the question myself. Of course you do. Why stay in a situation (although both have feelings for one another) where one cannot talk about the relationship. It's almost heartbreaking to put a person in a situation like that, it's a set up for destruction for both persons, and their hearts. But what do you do, stay there, and wait to see what happens? I think you have to move forward. Wow, life sure is full of complications, getting though them keeps you up, gives you a headache, and makes you wonder what you would do if you didn't have your friends :)
xoxo

Scrabble

My mind as of late seems to be going in a million different directions. I have butterflies that keep me up at night and I am not sure where to go. At the same time, I have so many dreams and it seems like they just keep changing. I know this is OK, because that's what we do right? But when do you throw in the towel and just say, this is what I am going to do with the rest of my life? And what about happiness? This is what has been keeping me up at night. I just want to be happy. I do not want to end up like my cousin, or some of my friends who have all settled down, have kids and they tell me they wished they had done more with their life. Alright so here is my chance right? I have the time, and although 12 years ago I started something and I quit and now I am realizing it may be what I wanted, is it to late to go back?
I am currently in a committed program and am realizing that although I love the aspect of helping people, it may not be the direction I want to go. It's better I find that out now right? I know that there may be some disappointment from others, but it's my life, and right now I am living with this dread in my stomach, like I don't know if I want this. I hate making decisions, and I hate people looking at me like "really again?"  I mean it took me 10 years to get through college because I couldn't decide on my major, and now I am seriously considering going back and starting at the beginning. I don't even know. Everything is just really foggy right now, and I need it to be clear, but when has it ever been clear. I don't want to settle, I want to be happy, and I want to do what's best for me. I love taking care of others, and I believe I know the path I need to go, it's just a matter of getting the courage to realign myself again and do it. I can't stand the thought of not being happy, and not living a life that is fulfilling to me. But I just need to pick up my courage and do it.
xoxo

And Where has the Time Gone.....

So my last post was about Valentines Day, and Love - La-Te-DA! I still have no opinion on that. In the past 2 months I have had my past come back into my life, and it did absolutely no good. In my experience (NOT everyone's, just mine) I need to quit letting the past overwhelm me. And also take a stand in my personal feelings. I know what I want, and what I don't want. If that's not OK, then get the f*&;% out! I am sick of games, midnight calls, and run around's. I am better than that, and I have realized that MAYBE I have been letting myself settle for less, and allowing the bullshit to be OK.
What get's me is that when I do voice my opinion I am a bitch. OK I can deal with that. I would rather be a bitch than get stepped on like I have been in the past (taking the blame here! ).
All I am saying is I have a goal, many goals, and in the last five years my goals have been my life, yes I have put them before many things (not including my parents), and I want to achieve them, live, thrive, be me! Not live for  someone else, or what they think I should be, or better yet apologize for who I am.
Goodbye games, assholes, and guys that just don't know what they want. I am not saying I know what I want in the long term, but I know what I don't want. And if you can't be honest - well...
xoxo

My post's suck! - I am sorry - I am in the middle of studying for some serious exams now! much love!