Vote, Vote, Vote.

So I mailed in my ballot today and as a registered republican, the natural way would have to have voted for McCain, Well after giving it a lot of though, and I do mean deep thought I changed my vote and went for Obama. I mean it's time for a change for this country and I think Obama will be that positive change that we need. And I have to say I have absolutley no respect for Sarah Palin, I mean what was McCain thinking when he picked her? She is uneducated when it comes to big time politics. I am sick of her main campaign for the PTA and Hockey mom's. What oh what does that have to do with being a politician. There is a big chance that something may happen to either candidate when in office, McCain and his health and the possibility of Oboma being assassinated (because we still have some bigot assholes out there) So my choice was heavily weighed on the VP pick. Well when you think about it Biden is more qualified to handle being the big man rather than small time Palin being the BIG woman. This was a hard election for me and I had to really give it some deep thought and in the end I believe that I went for the one who will bring the most positive change. Now I have to say that I DO NOT agree with all of the democrats choices and votes, but on the other hand I also strongly agree with some very important issues that they stand for. When Obama came to town it was an all person event free of charge, great experience. Now when McCain came to town it was a sit down dinner at 2k a head. Now how is that working for the middle to lower class, how are YOU showing us that you will give us breaks and not just the rich. Set a very bad taste in my mouth that one did. In addition Mrs. Palin has to be coached on all her interviews and debates, why is that? Shouldn't she know what is going on in our country? Shouldn't she know enough to have her own opinion? No she doesn't because she has NO EXPERIENCE! I am glad she is a PTA mom and a family woman, and even a hockey mom, but I have news for you lady that will do nothing to solve our economy, our budget deficit, and our war on terror. So please go back to your ho dunk town and shut the F up. I am not interested in your coached views nor am I interested in your ignorant attitude. You have absolutley no business being a vice president of the United States of America! So people we need to see some change in our country, we are in a lot of trouble and no matter who you vote for, just get out there and do it. Let's hope the next four years are better than the last.

XOXO

My so Called Life

My so called life is an adventure, I live day by day, hoping for the best expecting the worst. I try, I try, but sometimes things just don't work out the way I want them too. Life as I know it is a complicated controversy. One day it's great, then something else hits me with a big bang and everything changes. I learn everyday, and try to grow from my mistakes. How many mistake are we allowed to make a difference? How many times can we loose the things that mean the most? Why does it hurt so bad when the bad is the bad? What makes us stronger? What makes us tick. Food for thought. My so called life is not ordinary, my struggles are no less than than the next, but why do I feel so alone? Is anyone out there? I know the answer to my own question. Everyone is out there, even though I feel alone I am not the only one with struggles in my life, I am not the only one suffering. At this very moment I am succeeding at so many things, but I lost something that meant so much, so I have to learn not to depend on something that will eventually go away. You find a rock, a person who makes you solid, pushed you to be the best you can be, then they decide to take a detour and not make the effort anymore. Things as they are and we live to the day. We take it one step at a time, one day at a time. We will get through it, we will survive. That is what is life os all about, one struggle after another and then growing from the experience, making the most of what we have and being grateful of what is. All you can do is cherish the moments that were once there, but a distant memory of the past, but my friend in order to move on we need to accept the past for what it is. We need to take those experiences and live the life that god gave us to live. There is a reason for everything that happens, we grow, we learn, we give and we take. Some more than others, some less than others. But we get through it. We learn to move on and we wait for those experiences that are around the corner. Someday, we will see what is waiting for us and we will grab it for all that it is worth. That is my so called life at the moment.

Life's Little Road Bumps

The truth of the matter is we don't alway get what we want, we don't always succeed at what we set out to do. We take a path that seems right and the time and ends up hurting us even more. We try to climb to new heights, then we fall. Sometimes we fall hard and it takes everything in us to pull ourselves up and try again. You give your heart to the task you set out to accomplish and all that happens is a broken soul. So what do you do? You get up and try again. Isn't that what life is all about, trying new things, climbing to new heights. Then why so many times do we seek what we are unable to seek? You set a goal you give it your all and then you fall. Sometimes we fall harder than other times, and sometimes we succeed. Then why oh why does it hurt so much when we fail? Why does it hurt to loose a battle you worked so hard for? When does the pain go away and when do you pick your self up.... One day, one week, maybe a year will go by when you finally decide to move on. But only you can decide to move on, only you can decide to pick up the pieces that broke your heart in the first place. Life is full of challenges, life is a rocky road, unfortunately it is a life we must live, a life we have to make the most out of. The hurt will come, as will the happiness. When you least expect it the mood will change and the stars will once again shine. The place you want to be will come into perspective and for once everything will make sense. But it may take sometime to get there, it may be a long road, but someday I have to believe that we will get there. I have to believe that my dreams will come true. Not just for me but also for you. One day at a time that is all I can handle right now, one day.....not two. I try to to look at what may or may not happen. I look to the future often, but I try not to envision what may or may not be. God has a plan for me and one day, maybe not today or next week or maybe not fr a year will I be where I want to be. There is someone out there waiting for me, waiting to see the accomplishments I am set out to accomplish. Maybe not today, nor tomrorrow, but some day, I will be as I was meant to be..... Me.

XOXO

Then Emotional Rollercoaster

So I saw my ex, and it was not what I expected. The wrath cam out and feeling diminished. I saw him in a new light, a light that said NO!. We are not what we once were and things have changes. I no longer felt the the chemistry that was once there, but for a moment wanted to sleep with him once last time. It did not happen which is good. We are going in different directions we have our lives to live and unfortunately he is not willing to wait, even though he pushed me in the direction that needed the push. Is that fair? I don't know. We are two different people and I will never be good enough for him. The realization came last night, the realization of reality. A star to be wished upon but that wish will never come true. Once again my heart has been broken, my feelings left to shambles. I will over some, it may just take some time. I write what I feel because there is no other outlet. My feelings are left on the table and one day, someday soon, I will pick up the pieces and move on. My heart will heal, my soul will be one. I wish him the bet, but hope he feels the pain that I do. Somehow I doubt that. Life will go on and so will I. But in the realm of things my heart is at a loss.
Much Love,
xoxo

What to Do

My ex is coming to town this weekend, and I am not entirely sure how I feel about that. Two things could potentially happen..... I am going to punch him in the face or I am going to give it to his charm. What to do..... I have the determination to let it be, but I am afraid that if I see him the feelings will coming flooding back at a unbelievable rate. We have plans to go to dinner and I want to keep it at that, no more. I have agreed to MEET him somewhere and then decide. What will I do. Only time will tell. I have come so far in getting over him and I am so mad that he has taken the trips to see everyone else, but me. If he really wanted to see me he could have... for goodness sakes it has been 3 months and he has made every effort to see his other friends, so I am a little pissed. What about me I want to scream, what about the promises he made to me? What about them???? out the window that what is going on. So only time will tell. Please give me the strength to say what I have to say, please give me the strength to walk away. Let me be strong for once in my life, let me go in the direction that I was meant to go. Time has started to heal my heart and I want to keep it that way. I want to continue to heal, I want to continue to be strong. So much in my life is going so well, and I do not need a distraction that will disturb that good vibe that is flowing through me. All is ask is for the courage to stand for my convictions to stand up to what is right, at least for me I leave you hanging. This is a test of what is to come, a test to see if I can stand up for myself. Please let me do the right thing for me. More to come and we shall see.

Much love,

XOXO

What the Fuck do you Stand For?

So the debates tonight posed an interesting concept. As a register republican I have to ask myself what is going on. Where is Palin going with her PTA and hockey mom image. Now I have to say she did better tonight than I thought, and a pride rised up in me to say you go girl, but really does she have to talk about her personal life so much? Were is the part that is going to help our falling economy, where is the part that is going to help out troops? We have to ask ourselves, if the running presidential candidate runs into bad health do we really want her as president? Let's face it he is not in the best of health and chances are something is going to happen to him in office, can we really deal with a governor that has virtually no experience in running and making big decisions in the world today? As I said before she surprised me that she actually has her head out of her ass and could answer the questions that came her way, but was that the best choice for a VP candidate? I guess we will see. My prediction is Obama will win the race, but were will we been then? None of them have experience, and I am so tired of hearing about PTA moms, and Hockey moms, Pow's and what is what. What the hell are we going to do to bail ourselves out of this mess that we are in? Who the hell is going to make a difference. Any thoughts? I am disgusted at the nominees that we have a choice of no experience, no agreement.... Are we not supposed to work together? Well maybe but it seems that is not the way of the political world. We are in a financial crises people, we need to get out of it. Maybe to rich people there is no worry but I worry every month how I am going to pay my rent. What the hell are you going to do about it? I don't give a damn if you are a PTA member or a hockey mom. I care about what the hell you are going to do to bail us out of this mess.

Ok my two cents.....