Why waste your tears? Why cry? Why let the pain tear at you inside? Life is what we make of it, and I wish to more extent I had control over my emotions.
Why did god give me this disorder that I have to struggle with everyday of my life? How many times in a day do I have to say "it's not fair?" How many relationships, friendships am I going to lose because I can't deal with the real world?
I struggle on a daily basis and try to keep up with my life, it is getting to hard. It is getting to the point that I feel it is not worth fighting for anymore.
When a person whom you care a great deal about tells you that you are incapable of friendship and treating others well I have to wonder is this how I really am? Am I such a horrible person that I am incapable of friendship and love?
I have others tell me I have so much going for me and to focus on the good not the bad, that I am a strong person, but how well do they really know me? How much do they really care? When you have people whom you love and trust tell you things that hurt you, they are the ones that know, isn't it the truth?
For the most part I try to stay positive, however it is so hard sometimes when I feel like my world is crashing for no reason. In reality there is nothing wrong, but in my mind something is not right.
It's a constant struggle and battle. When is enough, enough? When do you let go? When do you say life has not been good and it's time to move on?
Dark thoughts I know, A lot of tears.
I am in no way perfect, I need to control my words when I get emotional, I need to learn to live, but I also need help. When a person who was your support system gives up on you it can crush you.
My mind is fuzzy and my heart is crushed, there is not a damn thing I can do about it except cry. Yes I am crying, I am feeling bad, it's not fair. There I said it..... Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. Writing is my biggest outlet and thats why I am writing this.
My only question is when? When does it all end?
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