A Bit of a Downer

Some days I feel as if I have the inspiration to do so much, but others, such as lately I feel so lost. Everything seemed to be going so well, and now I am starting to feel down again. I have not been keeping up with my blog much lately, and this is my outlet. My writing is what keeps me sane most of the time and lately I just don't know how to put anything in words.
I hate feeling like this, and I do apologize for my down mood, I just can't seem to get it together this week. I don't know maybe I am expecting to much to soon, taking on more than I can handle, being just a little disappointed in a newly rekindled relationship. I just don't know.
I can feel the start of the anxiety starting to come back, and this is a feeling I am not too comfortable with. Most of it I need to take my own blame for, I mean I was doing just fine, letting my heart heal, and the I got caught up in the emotion again.
Why is it that I can function so much better with just myself. I have been trying so very hard to be more open with people, let people in a little more than I normally do, but my heart just ends up hurting even more. I am so vulnerable to my emotions it scares me. Maybe this is why I feel safe to be myself, with myself. I am not sure if this is making any sense. Right now I feel just like rambling. I can feel myself starting to loose control again.
There is so much in my life that I am trying to conquer and move forward with and lately i feel that I have made in creditable progress , but then I feel like I may be taking two steps back. But as I have said before , life is a path we choose and one we grow and learn from. So why is it so hard to accept this?
Well just something to chew on for a bit.