Emotional Outburst

Lately everything seems to be going good for me, I have decided to go back to school, I am volunteering and writing a lot. All things I love to do! For quite a long time I felt like I had lost my direction in life. I moved here to Washington from Denver about 2 years ago, it was time to start anew. I needed to re-group and get myself together. I was born and raised in Denver, but there were too many painful and bad memories there.
I have told myself a million times, you can not run from your problems, you have to face them head on. Well I thought that by moving I could clear my head and force myself to look at my life in a different light. I would have time to heal and focus on what was important to me. I felt that getting away would solve everything.
When I first moved here, I did a whole lot of nothing. I became a different person. I was suddenly not comfortable in my skin anymore, I was no longer the confident person that I once saw myself as. I closed myself off to people and became comfortable in doing so, I put up a barrier that was almost impossible to break down. It took me a very long time to make 1 friend and then trusting them, well that was out of the question. I came to the conclusion that it was easier this way. Why let someone in if they will just hurt you.
I know, I know, this was not a healthy was of thinking, and I will admit I did demonstrate some destructive behaviors during this time. Now looking back I realize I was in no way dealing with my problems, I was pushing them down. pretending they didn't exist, denial..... My whole thought process was, no one here knows me, they have no idea, so I can be anyone I want to be. Yeah not so much.....
Well as I was going through this phase I happened to meet someone, someone who did finally break down my barrier. Someone who cared enough about me to stay around and get to know me. Well let me be the first to admit, I was not sure how I felt about this. It had been so long since I have let someone in, i wasn't exactly sure how to do it. As I said before, I was a different person. Opening up to someone suddenly was so difficult for me. I had become a very to myself person, and communicating was not something I was great at. So once again I had to re-evaluate my self.
This was the hardest thing for me. Not only am I a different person, but I suddenly realized I am not the person I want to be. So yes, I had a nervous breakdown (almost) haha. I was so emotional, crying, not sleeping, i have never been that uncomfortable in my life. I decided it was time to deal with what was going on in my head. I had to deal with it myself.
It has been 6 months since I have started down my new path, slowly I am becoming the person that I know I am capable of being. I have learned that denying your problems will only make things worse, and that is no way to go through life. I still have a lot to work on, but then again dealing with issues that have affected your life for almost 15 years is not something you are going to get over in 6 months. Lately I do feel as if I have cleared my head, and am looking at life in a different light. I see a future and am excited about this!