Fast Lane

At this very moment in time I don't think I have ever been this stressed out in my life. I am moving this weekend, I have a class that is incredibly hard I have a new class I was accepted into on Monday nights (kinda a psychology class) and I have been up every night until 12am just to get my homework done. Midnight might not seem late to you but I get up at 3:30am to be to work at 5, so midnight is very late for me. I try to sleep on my lunch breaks, and that's most of the sleep I get. I write because I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this, they just don't understand. But my life just might run over me right now. I do not think I can keep up. At the rate I am going I am going to go off the deep end. Then there is that small problem I am having wit my meds. They are making my body out of whack. So there is a possibility I may have to go off of them. That would not be good. I wouldn't be able to work or finish school....... SCARY THOUGHT! I still don't feel better after writing this, but I am sure a bottle of jack and a bunch of sleeping pills will clear it up for tonight. Good Thought!

Your Opinion Please

So I have a friend who will go nameless, for privacy reasons, but my friend is confused. You see he met a girl about a year ago and they kinda had a thing going on, but this girl has so much drama and shit going on in her life he decided that he didn't need that in his life right now. Not to mention the girl was much younger, still into the whole party till 4am every night kinda thing, anyways you get my point. As my friend tells me the sex was great, but not enough to put up with all the bullshit, so he distanced himself from her. Let me say one other thing, she was famous for calling at all hours of the night, 12, 2, even 4 am, very annoying.
So a year goes by and they run into each other again, she tells him the drama is not as bad and she seems interested again. (she was very interested before until my friend cut her off) So he thinks why not? Maybe she has changed after all it's been a year, a lot can change in a year. Yeah not really in my opinion. They had the one fun night and now it's back to the same old shit. Calling at all hours of the night (booty call I suspect) luckily he doesn't answer.(who is up that late, I mean really?) Drama is still there, no ex drama but some other drama that is pretty serious. OK so can you handle that? Maybe if the person called when they said they were going to call and maybe if they made time for him other than at 1230 at night. Maybe just maybe...... My advice..... FORGET HER! It is quite obvious she has not changed and my friend is a really nice guy, good looking and has a lot going for himself. Why should he waste his time on her? It quite obvious in my mind that partying is all she cares about, of course she is young. I partied when I was young so did my friend, in fact we partied together, many times. But my thing is if you really like someone would you not make time for them other than 3 in the morning? Would you not want to hang out when your not working.... If you not to hungover that is. Maybe I am jumping the gun here, but I don't want to see my friend get hurt.
We all have things going on in our life some more serious than others, but wouldn't you want someone to lean on if that be the case? Maybe this person is a really good person and wants to help. But maybe to this other person it's not what they want in their life right now. Who knows. But I did tell my friend that if this shit keeps up MOVE ON! who cares how good the sex is, you can always find it with someone who actually cares. Now please what is your opinion?

You be the Judge

Do you ever wake up and think this is the first day of your life..... or the last? Do you ever dream of the future and wonder what might be? Does one thing change your whole perspective on life. You thought about something you didn't want and all the sudden it turned into something different. Suddenly you have feelings about something, something so unreal. You are at the wrong place at the right time, or maybe the right place. In any event it's something that took you by surprise. Something that knocked you out of whack. What do you have to say about it? Nothing, why because it's there. It's already out there and there is no turning back, Life is so surreal sometimes, you never know the ball it's going to throw your way. You have decisions you have to make, you have a path you have to take. Who knows if it's right or wrong, you learn. You get hurt. You move on. But the curve balls they can be so intense and how do you know how to hit them. Life. you take it for what it is and live it for what it's worth. but in the mean time how do you cope? How do you know the unknown? you don't you just keep moving.
xoxo

Change

We all hate change yet it is an inevitable part of life. As we grow we change, as we learn we change, we change through our relationships, friendships, sorrows, happiness and everything else. Yet why do we resist it so much? Most of the time the change is for the better. Yes we were in a relationship that was great that ended, so why can't that be the door to something even better? Yes maybe our job description changed a little bit, but isn't that an opportunity to learn new things? OK so my class schedule changed - Oh well it's just on a different night. Things change constantly and if we don't go with the flow we will fall behind. It is hard however to tell the ones we love we things are changing especially if it effects them. But in the long run you have to do what is right for you. Life is full of surprises and change, sometimes those changes are surprises in disguise. I am just going to leave it at that.

Entitlement

I have posted a couple of very irate blogs in the last few weeks, there has been some hard core drama going on at work, which unfortunately I happen to be right smack in the middle of. I am not going to name names, those of you who really know what is going on know the truth. But my question is, if the drama that is happening is not work related why should it be brought into the workplace? It should not, period, end of story. Awe but that is not the case in this story. My boss and I had a one on one this morning and he brought up the fact that I was involved in some personal problems at work..... OK I KNOW WHO!!!!!!! Why this was escalated to my manager level is beyond me, but it was and I had to tell my boss everything. For those of you who don't know I am an executive asst. to the Chief Credit Officer of the SBLC. Trust me I did not want to involve him, but because of this persons actions I was forced to tell the tale (which had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with work!) So here I am in a conference room trying to not let the tears start to flow and explaining to him a situation that did not need to come to this level. This person said things that could jepordize my job, how this person knew is beyond me. I sure as hell would never say anything about what goes on behind closed doors. I love my job way to much!
So my second question is this, what gives the right to someone to bring up information to slander the other, is this a sense of entitlement? Do they feel that they can just go around and ruin people's lives? For retaliation maybe? Even after I stuck up to her in regards to the information that I was involved in, and it did not really end on a good note, she proceeded to tell me what I said and that basically I was lying, hell she almost had me convinced I was lying. But I stood my ground, because I know what I said and I know what I did not say. Well she did not like that to much and eventually it came to this, going to my boss about a problem that did not need to be brought into the workplace. It has gotten way out of hand..... And I am scared. Am I going to loose my job because of some crazy bullshit that this person said? She literally put a question in all my managers mind about my trust. What gives people this right? What makes them decide... "oh by the way I am going to ruin your life today". I just don't get it. Can someone please explain this to me? What fucking sense of entitlement does that give you? YOU FUCKING BITCH! Are you really happy with yourself.... most likely you are because you think you are going to get your way this time.... Not this time honey I will fight this with all my heart and no matter what I have to do to get my managers trust back I will do it. I am not bowing down to you and your selfish, childish ways. You can literally GO TO HE:LL! If you ever have an inkling that our friendship might be one day, think again.I will NEVER be your friend again, I don't even want to act civil to you at work. I want to fucking punch you and ask what the hell gives you this right..... But I am not going to stoop to your level. I am going to be an adult about this and I am going to move on. This is going to get ugly in the next few weeks and I don't know the outcome, but I will say this again, I will fight for my job, my integrity and I will earn the trust back of my team. You can do whatever you want to make yourself feel better, go right ahead. You watch and see one day this is going to come back to you, one day you are going to tell one to many lies and IT WILL come back to you. You tell so many lies now you don't even know what the truth is. So good luck with everything in your life, good luck, because one day you will be alone and I won't.

And we Move On

After the dramatic week I have had I am happy to say IT'S OVER! My gosh it most emotional and ridiculous! But non the less I have learned from it and feel that a large piece of whatever has been lifted off my chest. It's funny how you find out who your true friends are when things get really bad! You become closer to those you were played against and learn to keep your mouth shut.
Today was great, I actually got to sleep in (I had school last night), I had a short day and found out I am going to be doing several project with HR, the area I eventually want to go into. So for all the bad that happened this week it ended off on a really good note! So Happy Friday
XOXO

Right and Wrong

Everyone should know the difference between right and wrong, left and right, up and down, you get my point. Some people have no concept of the matter, and do what is wrong when they think it's right, and much to our dismay it causes more pain, or hurt. Even when it is clear that person is wrong and they still insist they are right and it's clear one person is hurt, no one wins, except the person who is in control. What they see is not what the rest of us see, and what they think is not logical. Sure it may be logical in their mind, but in simple minds it's not. There is a fine line between doing what is right and when you do something that is right it's a good feeling. But there are others out there, that have no concept of right. They go through their motions of always having to be right, inflicting pain on others and never taking blame when clearly they are in the wrong. And when that person takes it a step further to tell others what the destruction is, that's not right either. But we live and we learn. Most of us learn the difference between right and wrong early on in life and we grasp the concept well, while others either choose to not believe or choose to take a path that leads them to wrong. It's very simple. Keep your business to yourself, keep others business to yourself. ALWAYS follow the golden rule. Do unto yourself as you would to others. Remember life is short and by taking the way that is not right is only going to get you no where eventually. It can't make you feel good about yourself, and it can't make you a good person. But by doing what is right by others will only win you points. Think about it.
xoxo