Take 2 Apples and Call me in the Morning

For many of you who don't know I have one allergy and that would be apples. Weird I know, not peanuts, not fish, nothing else..... Just apples. You would be surprised at how many foods and fruit drinks have apples in them. You wouldn't think that because there is no advertisement about it, but many concentrates and smoothies have apple juice in them. So needless to say I always have to ask. I found out that by not asking it could get me in trouble, I found out the other day and now I'm paying.
The other day I was so hungry I had just got out of training that went to lunch, so it's safe to say that I was starving.... I am eating healthy and wanted something fast, so I go to the restaurant downstairs that sells chicken, rice bowls and things like that. I eat it so fast that I feel sick to my stomach. Well I was hungry what can I say? Anyways, apparently they started cooking their sauces and chicken in assorted fruit juices. There is a sign that specifically states that, but do you think I saw that? NO! So I eat there, later that afternoon my face has little red bumps and I am having a hard time sallowing, I think nothing of it, then Wednesday it gets worse, I literally have to spit out my food because I physically can't sallow. So I think I am coming down with strep throat, the funny thing is I feel OK. Well today I look like I have chicken pocks, all over my cheeks and neck..... Not good, I still can't sallow, but I am feeling fine. So I call my friend Mrs. Google and she tells me I am having an allergic reaction.... OH fricking GREAT! Why didn't I think of that? DUH, Katy..... So yeah one of my favorite places to eat now cooks their food in fruit juices, which unfortunately contains apple juice.... See what I mean. So right now I look like I have chicken pocks and I can't eat and it's Thanksgiving!!!!!! Just my luck! Moral of the story ALWAYS read the signs and NEVER assume that just because it's a food that you would NEVER think apples are in, well guess again....

Friend or Foe?

You meet people in your life that you think are true, genuine people, then you find out differently...... And that just sucks, people who are there for you at their convenience, friends when it's on their time, not yours. They juggle you around, thank you only sometimes, smile to your face, then talk behind your back. Friend or Foe? Then there are those people who think they are looking out for your best interest, but really only care about themselves...... Boss you around, try to control your well being, but really it's all in their game, their thoughts, not in your best interest. There is a difference between being rude and blunt, there is a difference between right and wrong.
Friends should be there to listen, not judge, care, not boss. And if you make a mistake oh well that's how you learn. Friends take time out when you really need them, they check on you when your in trouble and they don't get pissy if for some reason you are having a bad day.
Friendship should be an equal partnership, not a one sided affair. The sad thing is you really don't find out who your true friends are until you need them the most. When you find out that they are just not who you thought they were then distance is the only answer. When you finally come to that realization that the person is not genuine you are most likely already hurt, so put the distance there to cushion your fall.

UUUMMMM YEAH

So today was a great day, feeling good, a little stressed because I fucked around all weekend and didn't finish my video presentation that is due for my final on Tuesday. No problem I will do it tonight...... So I get off work, get to my car and shit I have a flat tire. Why of all days, does it have to be today, when I NEED to get home to finish my final. Well it did. So I had to call roadside assistance wait for like an hour 1/2 and hope that they could just fix my tire. My string of bad luck with things going out has been on a streak lately, first my TV went out and had to spend $500 for a new one, then my CD/DVD player won't open on my PC, now my frickin tire... What a joke :) So the guys FINALLY comes and he asks me for the key to my tires... I am like "what key?" He says "the key that unlocks your rims." I was like "I didn't even know I had a key"...... HHHHMMMM.... Yeah, so another 1/2 hour trying to find that, finally found it in my glove box. So he changes the tire. GREAT! So then I start driving and my alignment is all off. GREAT, just what I need to fuck up my alignment on my car. So I drag my ass to Les Schwab and tell them I need a new tire. So they look at it, and wouldn't you know my lovely dealership uses Les Schwab, soooooooo, not only did they fix it, they fixed it for FREE!!!!! Love it! So I get home and it takes my like 2 hours to do my video presentation because I am so critical of myself, I finally get it done..... What a day... Thank goodness it's over...

Friends

What is considered a friend? Some one who is there when you need them..... Why yes, that is my definition. But what about when it's only convenient for them, is that a true friend? I have gone through many friends in my life and maybe it' me, but I have a hard time trusting, again and again I seemed to get burned..... DO you see a pattern here? I do. Maybe I need to come to the realization that it is me, being to picky, not trusting enough, jumping to conclusions. That's me.... But if your only, no one can hurt but yourself. Isn't that the truth? It has been so long since I have had a good group of friends that I trust.... One of them is in Denver, so it's not like I can exactly go out and talk to her anytime I want. I crave that companionship of a good close girl friend, who I can go out with, cry too and just hang out. Since moving to Portland I have no been able to find that. Sure I have friends but no one that I feel I can completely confide in. O well, like I said maybe it's me. So why don't i get out there and do something about it..... No courage..... sad but true.

XOXO

Vote, Vote, Vote.

So I mailed in my ballot today and as a registered republican, the natural way would have to have voted for McCain, Well after giving it a lot of though, and I do mean deep thought I changed my vote and went for Obama. I mean it's time for a change for this country and I think Obama will be that positive change that we need. And I have to say I have absolutley no respect for Sarah Palin, I mean what was McCain thinking when he picked her? She is uneducated when it comes to big time politics. I am sick of her main campaign for the PTA and Hockey mom's. What oh what does that have to do with being a politician. There is a big chance that something may happen to either candidate when in office, McCain and his health and the possibility of Oboma being assassinated (because we still have some bigot assholes out there) So my choice was heavily weighed on the VP pick. Well when you think about it Biden is more qualified to handle being the big man rather than small time Palin being the BIG woman. This was a hard election for me and I had to really give it some deep thought and in the end I believe that I went for the one who will bring the most positive change. Now I have to say that I DO NOT agree with all of the democrats choices and votes, but on the other hand I also strongly agree with some very important issues that they stand for. When Obama came to town it was an all person event free of charge, great experience. Now when McCain came to town it was a sit down dinner at 2k a head. Now how is that working for the middle to lower class, how are YOU showing us that you will give us breaks and not just the rich. Set a very bad taste in my mouth that one did. In addition Mrs. Palin has to be coached on all her interviews and debates, why is that? Shouldn't she know what is going on in our country? Shouldn't she know enough to have her own opinion? No she doesn't because she has NO EXPERIENCE! I am glad she is a PTA mom and a family woman, and even a hockey mom, but I have news for you lady that will do nothing to solve our economy, our budget deficit, and our war on terror. So please go back to your ho dunk town and shut the F up. I am not interested in your coached views nor am I interested in your ignorant attitude. You have absolutley no business being a vice president of the United States of America! So people we need to see some change in our country, we are in a lot of trouble and no matter who you vote for, just get out there and do it. Let's hope the next four years are better than the last.

XOXO

My so Called Life

My so called life is an adventure, I live day by day, hoping for the best expecting the worst. I try, I try, but sometimes things just don't work out the way I want them too. Life as I know it is a complicated controversy. One day it's great, then something else hits me with a big bang and everything changes. I learn everyday, and try to grow from my mistakes. How many mistake are we allowed to make a difference? How many times can we loose the things that mean the most? Why does it hurt so bad when the bad is the bad? What makes us stronger? What makes us tick. Food for thought. My so called life is not ordinary, my struggles are no less than than the next, but why do I feel so alone? Is anyone out there? I know the answer to my own question. Everyone is out there, even though I feel alone I am not the only one with struggles in my life, I am not the only one suffering. At this very moment I am succeeding at so many things, but I lost something that meant so much, so I have to learn not to depend on something that will eventually go away. You find a rock, a person who makes you solid, pushed you to be the best you can be, then they decide to take a detour and not make the effort anymore. Things as they are and we live to the day. We take it one step at a time, one day at a time. We will get through it, we will survive. That is what is life os all about, one struggle after another and then growing from the experience, making the most of what we have and being grateful of what is. All you can do is cherish the moments that were once there, but a distant memory of the past, but my friend in order to move on we need to accept the past for what it is. We need to take those experiences and live the life that god gave us to live. There is a reason for everything that happens, we grow, we learn, we give and we take. Some more than others, some less than others. But we get through it. We learn to move on and we wait for those experiences that are around the corner. Someday, we will see what is waiting for us and we will grab it for all that it is worth. That is my so called life at the moment.

Life's Little Road Bumps

The truth of the matter is we don't alway get what we want, we don't always succeed at what we set out to do. We take a path that seems right and the time and ends up hurting us even more. We try to climb to new heights, then we fall. Sometimes we fall hard and it takes everything in us to pull ourselves up and try again. You give your heart to the task you set out to accomplish and all that happens is a broken soul. So what do you do? You get up and try again. Isn't that what life is all about, trying new things, climbing to new heights. Then why so many times do we seek what we are unable to seek? You set a goal you give it your all and then you fall. Sometimes we fall harder than other times, and sometimes we succeed. Then why oh why does it hurt so much when we fail? Why does it hurt to loose a battle you worked so hard for? When does the pain go away and when do you pick your self up.... One day, one week, maybe a year will go by when you finally decide to move on. But only you can decide to move on, only you can decide to pick up the pieces that broke your heart in the first place. Life is full of challenges, life is a rocky road, unfortunately it is a life we must live, a life we have to make the most out of. The hurt will come, as will the happiness. When you least expect it the mood will change and the stars will once again shine. The place you want to be will come into perspective and for once everything will make sense. But it may take sometime to get there, it may be a long road, but someday I have to believe that we will get there. I have to believe that my dreams will come true. Not just for me but also for you. One day at a time that is all I can handle right now, one day.....not two. I try to to look at what may or may not happen. I look to the future often, but I try not to envision what may or may not be. God has a plan for me and one day, maybe not today or next week or maybe not fr a year will I be where I want to be. There is someone out there waiting for me, waiting to see the accomplishments I am set out to accomplish. Maybe not today, nor tomrorrow, but some day, I will be as I was meant to be..... Me.

XOXO