When Life Changes

Sometimes I sit and wonder where did all the time go? Before I could even take a breath I turned 27 and it seems like one change after another is taking place. Friends I once loved are no longer there, people are moving away, getting married, having babies, moving on. Yes I think that what that is........ Moving on. Where did the time go and where did I leave off?
Often times I dream about the past thinking of what might have been, if I had stayed in Denver or if I had done this or acted this way. Would it have changed anything? Would my life have been better?
I have pondered this question many times and I have to say no. I believe that there is a path set for you and people come and go in and out of our lives to help us grow, to help us learn and they impact us in a way that was set out to happen.
Many times I wonder why me? But I am just being unrealistic. I have it good and have made some incredible changes in my life in the last six months.
I still wonder where the time has gone and often forget that nothing will ever stay the same no matter how hard you pray or hope for it.
Life changes and so do we. I am a completely different person than I was six months ago, there has been some hard lessons learned and I know I will only grow from here. I lost some good friends along the way, but have also made some great new ones.
I know six months may not sound like a lot but in my world everything has changed, from my job, to my schooling, to my living situation, my personal relationships to my integrity. I feel like I have gained my independence back, I have not felt that way in a long time.
Everything I am doing right now is for me........ It's all about change. Positive change.

Sorry for being so insightful on this post, but I felt the need to write.

xoxo

After Every Storm there is a Rainbow

So you have a bad day, you think when will it ever end, and then it does.

Tonight was the final night of my English class and I submitted a few pieces of writing for the literary Journal at school. I OFFICIALLY found out tonight I am going to be published. My teacher had hinted it a few weeks ago, but officially gave me my acceptance tonight.

I am so happy I cried. One of my pieces is getting published for sure the other is still under discussion, but I submitted four pieces and one was picked and the other is a strong maybe, I will find out for sure tomorrow, there were over 400 submissions.

My English teacher also told me what an incredible writer I am and that I am going to make it as a writer, I have the content down and I have the heart, experience, and deep emotions it takes to get there. I have never in my life had a compliment given to me that meant so much or that has so much impact on my writing.

I have a few things to work on as far as grammatical, but he said he will work with me on that to become a better writer. That is all stuff I can learn, I have what it takes inside.

So I had to share, I am bouncing off the walls. I AM GETTING PUBLISHED!!!!!! Yes I have to rub it in just a little :)

xoxo

So you had a Bad Day

Everyone has bad days, and when I have a bad day it’s a bad day.
Spring is supposed to be here, I am moving and doing great in school and work, but I just can’t seem to shake this feeling off. So many good things are happening, yet i feel like absolute crap.

I am not trying to complain, just vent. I need a vacation, far far away. School is good but it has me so stressed, I have to wonder am I taking on to much? Maybe it’s just the weather, once the rain stops and the temperature warms up and the sun shows its face more I will feel better, as for now I just want to curl up and sleep until then.

Mondays are always hard for me, and maybe it’s because I have back to back classes this week or I am turning 27 on Thursday, maybe it’s because I am starting to realize who my real friends are. I have no idea but I want to get out of here, and say fuck responsibilities.......

Yeah it has been a bad day. Nothing is what it seems and it seems like I am walking through the motions of a day, if that makes any sense. I am here, but I am not. Today seems so surreal. Nothing extraordinary happened, nothing set me off at least not today.

But today, I am not myself, I am anxious, I am nervous and I am sad......
It’s a bad day...........

It's my business Saty the F Out

Awe friends who care are not a bad thing, but don’t tell me how to live my life, it is my life and I do what I want. If I make a mistake that is how I learn.

I understand that some people may not agree with some of my decisions in life, but when you don’t know the whole story or I keep it to myself, that means I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks.

I love my friends and I know they are looking out for me, but I am a big girl and I know right from wrong, I know how I feel and I know what is going on in my life, and I choose to go the route I want.

So please if I choose to keep the subject at hand quiet that means I am not looking for advice nor am I looking for your opinion on the matter.

If you choose not to see the entire picture but only what you want to see that is your choice. You can judge all you want and think what ever you want, I don’t care.

I am not trying to stir the pot here with anyone, but am frustrated at the situation at hand, and I feel that my business is my business and no one has the right to tell me what do do, or that they no longer want anything to do with it when I haven’t brought you into the current situation.

Thank you for being there in the past and than you for being there now. Like I said I love my friends dearly and I have no idea what I would do without them, but some things I want to keep to myself.

Never Forget

Life is full of changes, and sometimes we have to go with the flow. Change can always be hard and it can be harder when the change is about someone you care about.
My advice, Never forget.

Never forget the good times that were shared, the memories that have been created and the times that are priceless that only you and that other person will never forget.

Never forget the bad, the times you said or did something you wish you hadn’t, the mistakes that you can never take back and will always be in the memories of both of you.

Never forget what a true friend is, someone who is there when no one else is, never forget that person because one day that person could be gone.

Never forget.........
One day it might be to late to say the things you wish you could have said.

Overload

Do you ever why things happen? They always happen for a reason, weather it be good or bad. Things do happen to make you wake up, and sometimes those things are not good.

Life for me took a turn for the worst this weekend and it was a wake up call. I am not saying that that the bad will continue, but it makes you into a different person.

There are certain people who bring you down no matter how much they care for you or how much you care for them, they are circumstances that change you forever.

I guess what I am trying to say is that life is precious and no matter what is happening in your life it will never be perfect, and you can't make it perfect. Things will come and they will go.

YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AS IF EVERYDAY IS YOUR LAST.
You never know when it will end. Life is never a guarantee and there is nothing you can do about it.

To say you are happy, things will change, to say you are sad, things will change. You have to ask yourself one question, will this matter a year from now?
Probably not.

Sometimes life can overload you and only you can take control, only you can realax.

I will leave this blog on this note.

xoxo

Delusional

Have you ever been tired, so tired that sleep is considered a luxury? Being a full time student and working full time, sleep and food have become something of a non-necessity for me, well they should not be, but if I have to choose between doing my homework and sleeping, I choose homework, and at work, I get so busy I forget to eat. I know my body is being worn down, but hey, I have a little less than 2 years to finish school and so far, I have a 4.0 average.
I take the max most mornings to work and usually catch up on sleep, or homework. Last week I was so tired that I decided to sleep. I hear over the intercom that the next stop is the Convention Center, so I think to myself, a few more stops to go and catch a few more moments of sleep. SWEET! Next thing I know I wake up in a tunnel and in BEAVERTON!!!!!! I look back and everyone is gone, I am the only one left on the Max. I look at my phone to see what time it is and it is almost 8:15, I have to be to work at 7:30. Oh Shit!
I start freaking out, of course. First off, I have no idea where I am and second I am so late to work, and no one knows where I am. My phone starts ringing, it is one of my bosses, I explain what happened, and she starts laughing. Then I call my mom and she starts laughing. Looking back it was damn funny.
I get off the Max, wait for the next one to come, and then go back to downtown, so far so good. I get off at Pioneer Square, which I have walked to many times, Nordstrom’s, Macy’s and Victoria Secret are all up there, so I know I am not far. I see Qudoba, a restaurant that I have walked to many times; ok I know where I am. Therefore, I start walking, IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! I was so disoriented and tired that I ended up walking in the complete opposite direction. I call Didi, I tell her I am lost, she can tell I am getting upset. Breath she tells me “remember don’t sweat the small stuff and this is small stuff.” (a book everyone got me because I tend to sweat the small stuff). She asks me where I am and I give her the cross streets, she asks me, how the heck did you get there, I told I just started walking. I was so far away from work it was not even funny. I was looking frantically for the tall pink building in which I work. I could not even see it. Didi tells me to find Burnside and walk North, I had to ask people where Burnside was, and of course, they looked at me weird. I do not look like a tourist; it is obvious that I worked downtown. How is it possible that I could get that lost? I even got off at a stop that I recognized, and had been too many time. Well as one of my friends tells me, I get lost in a paper bag, which is true.
Finally, I made it to work, I walked about thirty blocks that day, and I definitely got my exercise. As I walked in the door, everyone asked how my nap was and they all laughed. At the time, it was not so funny, but it is so funny. This would only happen to me, only I could ride the max, fall asleep, wake up 40 minutes after my stop, and then get lost in a city in which I work.
After this fiasco, I decided that this was never going to happen again. I got phone with a GPS and a navigation system that talks to me, and not matter how tired I am, I WILL NEVER SLEEP ON THE MAX AGAIN!!
LESSON LEARNED!