Weeks come and go, you go to work, you go to school or do whatever it is you do on a daily basis. Good things happen, bad too. Things look great, sometimes not so great. I have to say that the year 2007 was the most exhausting year, so many changes took place in my life. I applied for my ideal job, which I didn't get, started back to school and then got a job that I wasn't to sure about but ended up loving.
My personal life has been just as exhausting. I have dealt with issues that I have never dealt with before and have to come to accept them as part of my past. I have discovered the two things that make me happy on a personal level (reading and writing) and am working on my first book.
I have a person in my life that has been behind me all the way, through the ups and downs (and believe me there have been some downs) but that person has been there, and still is. I have met some great friends that I wouldn't exchange for anyone else.
It has been one hell of a ride. Finally it is coming all together. My past is my past, my future is bright, and I have all the support and love that I could ever ask for.
2008 is going to be great, it is the beginning, the beginning to a new chapter that I am so grateful to start, the last I am ready to end.
Everything happens to us for some reason or another, you meet people who make a hugh impact on your life, they touch you in ways that are unforgettable, they leave a mark on your heart that will never go away.
This last week has been especially hard for me, my boss lost his job and for a minute I thought my job was in limbo too. It was such a shock to see him go and nothing has ever affected me like this before. I admired my boss and looked up to him a great deal. It was a hard time. I did benefit from the situation, in the sense that my responsibilities went up and my job became more essential, however at that price I am not sure how I feel about it.
One thing I have learned is that life goes on, business as usual, the world still turns, the clock still ticks and the days become nights. It is life, everything happens for a reason.
Life is funny like that, it happens, but people still go about there daily lives.
Make it count, your life that is.
Save your tears, share your smiles and lean on the ones that will be there.
Everything happens for a reason.
xoxo
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Oh, the places you will go
I had a mission, some might say it is quite weird, but my mission was simple..... I needed a book, a very specific book if you will. The book..... Oh, the places you will go by Dr. Suess!
Laugh all you want! For a 26 year old to be obsessing over such a book is quite abnormal, and my friend asked me if I was buying it for a child. When I told him it was for me, he gave me a look that basically said you are wierd.... hhhmmm. He obliviously did not understand the importance.
This book was read to me a long time ago and even though I was just graduating high school I did not fully understand the meaning that was behind the book, lately I have been thinking about it quite often, so often I decided I needed it RIGHT NOW!!!!!
So off to Powell's I went (for those of you who don't know what Powell's is, well it's only the BEST BOOKSTORE EVER!) As most of you know I am a avid reader so I had to be quick I only have an hour for lunch, and well I could spend a lifetime in that store..... So my mission was simple, find the book and get out as soon as possible!
Alas find the book I did, I read it again and I cried.... For those of you who haven't read it, READ IT! The message is simple, the message is life.
Oh, the places you'll go! My boss at work, was a little amused by my purchase so I encouraged him to read it, and he too found it to be very profound. My friends this book is a must read, read it from time to time, and think of all the places you have been and the places you will go.
Yes it's simple, yes it is a child's book, but the lesson it gives, you can take with you for a lifetime!
Laugh all you want, I know I am a nerd, but hey these things have a affect on me, and I am very big on learning life lessons right now!
So if you have one book you are going to read, read this one! I promise you will get it, unless you have no desire or no curiosity for life.
xoxo
Laugh all you want! For a 26 year old to be obsessing over such a book is quite abnormal, and my friend asked me if I was buying it for a child. When I told him it was for me, he gave me a look that basically said you are wierd.... hhhmmm. He obliviously did not understand the importance.
This book was read to me a long time ago and even though I was just graduating high school I did not fully understand the meaning that was behind the book, lately I have been thinking about it quite often, so often I decided I needed it RIGHT NOW!!!!!
So off to Powell's I went (for those of you who don't know what Powell's is, well it's only the BEST BOOKSTORE EVER!) As most of you know I am a avid reader so I had to be quick I only have an hour for lunch, and well I could spend a lifetime in that store..... So my mission was simple, find the book and get out as soon as possible!
Alas find the book I did, I read it again and I cried.... For those of you who haven't read it, READ IT! The message is simple, the message is life.
Oh, the places you'll go! My boss at work, was a little amused by my purchase so I encouraged him to read it, and he too found it to be very profound. My friends this book is a must read, read it from time to time, and think of all the places you have been and the places you will go.
Yes it's simple, yes it is a child's book, but the lesson it gives, you can take with you for a lifetime!
Laugh all you want, I know I am a nerd, but hey these things have a affect on me, and I am very big on learning life lessons right now!
So if you have one book you are going to read, read this one! I promise you will get it, unless you have no desire or no curiosity for life.
xoxo
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Bittersweet Emotion
As I am driving home from class tonight I turn on my CD player because nothing good was on the radio, as I am sitting there thinking about the lecture or rather the movie we watched tonight, a song comes on, a song I have listened to so many time before a song I never really put much thought into. For the first time in a few days I smiled. I smiled so big and I felt so incredibly happy, I was beyond myself. The song was Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve.
WOW I thought to myself, I have this immense wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. Listening to the words, I mean really listening to the words tonight had an effect on me I didn't think possible at this time. My stress level has been high recently, new job, and school, personal issues all rolled into one. Smiling is not something that is in my facial structure right now, or so I thought. This had to have been one of the most bittersweet moments in my life. Funny how emotions can change and reality can set in, in just one flick of an instant.
I start driving 90MPH on the road by my house (it is all country so no worries), Blasting the music and smiling from ear to ear… I finished 2 major papers this week, and managed to get top grades, I have a new job that I love, I am working on my first book. I am happy. I can be happy. For the first time in a long time I felt free, exhilarated, accomplished. I feel like everything is going to be ok. I can do it, I know I can.
Life changes from one moment to the next; your path is where it takes you, your journey, and your life. Bad times come and they go, when they are bad them seem so bad, but when you wake up and look at life in a new angle it can be good, so very good.
Why I had this sudden realization I have no idea, why this particular song put me in this grove, I don't know. I don't need to know, I just need to keep moving forward.
With all of the positive changes that I have done in my life, there had to be some sacrifices, hence bittersweet emotion……
xoxo
Here are the lyrics....
Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no(fading away)
Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change it
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
Trying to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah
You know I can't change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change my mind
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
That you've ever been down
That you've ever been down
WOW I thought to myself, I have this immense wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. Listening to the words, I mean really listening to the words tonight had an effect on me I didn't think possible at this time. My stress level has been high recently, new job, and school, personal issues all rolled into one. Smiling is not something that is in my facial structure right now, or so I thought. This had to have been one of the most bittersweet moments in my life. Funny how emotions can change and reality can set in, in just one flick of an instant.
I start driving 90MPH on the road by my house (it is all country so no worries), Blasting the music and smiling from ear to ear… I finished 2 major papers this week, and managed to get top grades, I have a new job that I love, I am working on my first book. I am happy. I can be happy. For the first time in a long time I felt free, exhilarated, accomplished. I feel like everything is going to be ok. I can do it, I know I can.
Life changes from one moment to the next; your path is where it takes you, your journey, and your life. Bad times come and they go, when they are bad them seem so bad, but when you wake up and look at life in a new angle it can be good, so very good.
Why I had this sudden realization I have no idea, why this particular song put me in this grove, I don't know. I don't need to know, I just need to keep moving forward.
With all of the positive changes that I have done in my life, there had to be some sacrifices, hence bittersweet emotion……
xoxo
Here are the lyrics....
Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no(fading away)
Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change it
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
Trying to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah
You know I can't change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change my mind
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
That you've ever been down
That you've ever been down
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Question from the Heart
We ask ourselves questions everyday. What could I have done to make things better? How could I have altered the situation? Why didn’t I spend more time with that person, why didn’t I try harder? If we ask ourselves these questions they tend to make us crazy, make us feel worse than we already do.
I ask myself all the time, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I be the person that everyone wants me to be? Why can’t I make it work? You know it is driving me crazy. I can’t help who I am, and I can’t help what my past has done to me. Unfortunately it has made me a harder person, yes I say harder. I close people off, don’t let them in, and shy away from closeness and love, even though it’s one of things that I want more than anything.
Why you might ask. It’s because I am scared, plain and simple. There is no way to simply understand this and there is no simple way for me to explain it. Experiences tend to take on a toll on a person, and how we choose to unitize them is our choice. Some of us take them and learn, others take them and run. Some of us hide behind the pain and close ourselves off from the one’s that care. I have to admit I am this way. So I write. I let people read, sometimes. My therapy is my writing. For me it is the only to look at my issues with an open mind, to heal my heart and to understand why I may be feeling this way.
I am scared everyday, I feel pain everyday, and I feel my life is not fair everyday. Then I look deep inside and know that I am a good person and I deserve only the best. That many people out there have it much worse than I do, and there is someone out there going through something that is going to completely alter their life.
My life is not so bad, my choices have not been the best, but I am trying to change that. I try to surround myself with people who genuinely care and don’t use me as a convenience. It is hard for me to trust and it is even harder for me to keep that trust in a person. I am trying and that is all I can do for now. As for the questions that I continue to ask myself everyday, the questions that make me feel bad, I just have to remember the good that is inside of me, the good that comes out everyday, even if I don’t always show it. There is a person, buried deep in my heart that is yearning to be born again. I am just not sure when I will be ready to let that person come to life. My heart is still healing and my confidence is still trying… For now all I can do is hope and pray. One day, I will be whole again.
© 2007 The Random Writings Of Me... Kates
I ask myself all the time, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I be the person that everyone wants me to be? Why can’t I make it work? You know it is driving me crazy. I can’t help who I am, and I can’t help what my past has done to me. Unfortunately it has made me a harder person, yes I say harder. I close people off, don’t let them in, and shy away from closeness and love, even though it’s one of things that I want more than anything.
Why you might ask. It’s because I am scared, plain and simple. There is no way to simply understand this and there is no simple way for me to explain it. Experiences tend to take on a toll on a person, and how we choose to unitize them is our choice. Some of us take them and learn, others take them and run. Some of us hide behind the pain and close ourselves off from the one’s that care. I have to admit I am this way. So I write. I let people read, sometimes. My therapy is my writing. For me it is the only to look at my issues with an open mind, to heal my heart and to understand why I may be feeling this way.
I am scared everyday, I feel pain everyday, and I feel my life is not fair everyday. Then I look deep inside and know that I am a good person and I deserve only the best. That many people out there have it much worse than I do, and there is someone out there going through something that is going to completely alter their life.
My life is not so bad, my choices have not been the best, but I am trying to change that. I try to surround myself with people who genuinely care and don’t use me as a convenience. It is hard for me to trust and it is even harder for me to keep that trust in a person. I am trying and that is all I can do for now. As for the questions that I continue to ask myself everyday, the questions that make me feel bad, I just have to remember the good that is inside of me, the good that comes out everyday, even if I don’t always show it. There is a person, buried deep in my heart that is yearning to be born again. I am just not sure when I will be ready to let that person come to life. My heart is still healing and my confidence is still trying… For now all I can do is hope and pray. One day, I will be whole again.
© 2007 The Random Writings Of Me... Kates
Monday, October 1, 2007
Once again Thoughts, NO Baby MADNESS!!!
I have one question..... When the hell did we grow up and what happened to my youth??? Did I miss something along the way? When did I leave Never, Never land? It is going around, it is contagious, many people are catching it... YES... DA DA DUN.... It's the BABY BUG!!!!! AAAAWWWWWEEEE....... WHOOOO.... DO NOT GET THE WRONG idea, I am in no way ready to be a mom. However all my friends around me are all expecting..... When did this happen? Are we really growing up, getting married and having kids? What happened to being a kid... I think that time has passed..... I am sad, really I am. I am not ready to grow up, I am not ready to settle down, I am really not ready to be a mommy...
So I am not going to be, at least not for a long while. I do wish all my friends the best, and I love them dearly, but I think I will stick to being Aunt Katy for a while.
Need a baby sitter I am all about it, need to take the kiddies to the Zoo, call me up! Want to go baby shopping, I love to shop, but then at the end of the day I will go back to my single life and pursue my dream, my true love, my writing....
At this time I am too selfish to be in the land of soccer mom's and play dates, bottles and diapers. I DO NOT WANT AN SUV! I want a sporty car and a condo downtown, I do not want a yard or a white picket fence..... Not yet anyway... I want to travel (when I get over my fear of flying, which needs to be soon as my brother and I are talking about a trip to Europe next summer) I want to live on the East coast, at least for a year, Hell I still haven't been to Vegas..... and I AM 26!!!! I need to fix that...
So you see, I am just not ready.
I love my sexy red headed soccer mom to be, and my little dizzle and you girls know I am here for you ALWAYS!!!!
For right now, I think I will stick to my life of the unknown, I kinda like it that way. I like being able to plan things spur of the moment and not ask permission, I like to think that I can pick up and move at anytime, and hell if I feel like staying out all night I CAN!!!
This has been on my mind, as the baby bug is going around.... I have not caught the bug. Therefore I am no longer drinking the water at work, I really think it has something to do with all the new mommy's to be :) No really I do.
I hope my mommy's to be do not take offense to this blog, because I really do love you dearly and I am here for you.
Just wanted to post my personal thoughts on the matter concerning ME! Just so we are clear, I do not want to be sent home with a gift basket of KY Jelly and Pregnancy tests, I think a box of condoms and birth control is more my style, RIGHT MEL..... lol
I am not next, not for a while. In the mean time I will love watching you guys raise your precious one's and when the time comes (if ever) I will need your help and advice.... First I want my sports car and condo in Seattle or my Flat in New York....
Xoxo
So I am not going to be, at least not for a long while. I do wish all my friends the best, and I love them dearly, but I think I will stick to being Aunt Katy for a while.
Need a baby sitter I am all about it, need to take the kiddies to the Zoo, call me up! Want to go baby shopping, I love to shop, but then at the end of the day I will go back to my single life and pursue my dream, my true love, my writing....
At this time I am too selfish to be in the land of soccer mom's and play dates, bottles and diapers. I DO NOT WANT AN SUV! I want a sporty car and a condo downtown, I do not want a yard or a white picket fence..... Not yet anyway... I want to travel (when I get over my fear of flying, which needs to be soon as my brother and I are talking about a trip to Europe next summer) I want to live on the East coast, at least for a year, Hell I still haven't been to Vegas..... and I AM 26!!!! I need to fix that...
So you see, I am just not ready.
I love my sexy red headed soccer mom to be, and my little dizzle and you girls know I am here for you ALWAYS!!!!
For right now, I think I will stick to my life of the unknown, I kinda like it that way. I like being able to plan things spur of the moment and not ask permission, I like to think that I can pick up and move at anytime, and hell if I feel like staying out all night I CAN!!!
This has been on my mind, as the baby bug is going around.... I have not caught the bug. Therefore I am no longer drinking the water at work, I really think it has something to do with all the new mommy's to be :) No really I do.
I hope my mommy's to be do not take offense to this blog, because I really do love you dearly and I am here for you.
Just wanted to post my personal thoughts on the matter concerning ME! Just so we are clear, I do not want to be sent home with a gift basket of KY Jelly and Pregnancy tests, I think a box of condoms and birth control is more my style, RIGHT MEL..... lol
I am not next, not for a while. In the mean time I will love watching you guys raise your precious one's and when the time comes (if ever) I will need your help and advice.... First I want my sports car and condo in Seattle or my Flat in New York....
Xoxo
Saturday, September 29, 2007
I ROCK!!!
OK so for all of you dumb assholes who think that I can't do things on my own, you have another thing coming. I know that I depend on the men in my life for all the stuff that men typically do such as, checking my oil, fixing things that need to be fixed, or killing spiders, lol...
I will fully admit that I am not the greatest when it comes to putting things together or fixing things. Lets just say I generally mess it up somehow. That has all changed!
Yesterday, seeing as I had the day off, I thought that I would do something productive, makes some changes, get organized. One of the things I needed to organize the most is my books. I have so many books, no joke! They are stacking up along all my walls, by the piles... I am not kidding... I got my laptop out, went straight to IKEA and BINGO, found some shelves for 20 bucks... YAY! I got in my car and headed straight there.
Now I have never been to IKEA, but my brother swears by it, and hey $20 bookshelves, who can beat that? So why not check it out.
OMG! That is all I can say... I LOVE IKEA!!!! I spent about 2 hours in there, just looking, yes looking. Finally I get to the area that had the bookshelves and spent another half hour deciding what shelf to get. I finally decided on the one that I wanted, $50 over budget, but hey I LOVE IT!!!! Now.... how to get it home. HHHMMMM....
I have an Acura RSX2, a very small car, in case you didn't know. But I was determined to get it home. I was going to fit it into my car... Somehow.....
Now I am a little person, and the shelves were bigger than me. So I had two problems.... How was I going to carry it, and how was it going to fit in my car?
If you had been there that day in the parking lot by the loading zone watching me, I am sure you would have gotten your laugh of the day.
Here I was trying to pick it up, slide it a car that was to small, but DETERMINED to make it fit, Oh, yeah I forgot to mention, it was hailing...... BAD!!!! (I have the bruises on my leg, and a knot on my head to prove it).
Well, finally an older man helped me and we made it fit!!! Mission accomplished!
So I drive home with my shelves in my car, the box is literally right between the two front seats, and yes I drive a stick, so shifting was difficult. Non the less I made it home....
Now to get it to my room. I was determined to do this by myself, No help, just me and my book shelf.
Carefully I maneuver the box that is taller than me, and weighs over half of what I weigh out of my car, in the house and down two flights of stairs. SUPER! I did it!
Now the hard part.... Assembly.... Now as I mentioned before this is not my strong suit. I am not good at this part, but again I was determined to do this by myself.
So I ripped open the box, got the instructions, pulled out my girlie tool kit my dad got me for Christmas, counted the parts according to the instructions and I was on my way.
So far so good.
After about an hour I was proudly looking at my new book shelf, completely assembled by yours truly! I was so excited, I don't think you can even imagine! Laugh all you want this is a big accomplishment for me. For once everything turned out right. I had no extra parts, and everything looked just right!
Now I can proudly look at my project and know I did it on my own. So you see I am not completely inefficient, I can do it, yes I can! I know most of you might be laughing, and hey that's ok, I am proud of myself, I am proud that I was able to do it on my own.
So yes in a nutshell I ROCK!!!!
I will fully admit that I am not the greatest when it comes to putting things together or fixing things. Lets just say I generally mess it up somehow. That has all changed!
Yesterday, seeing as I had the day off, I thought that I would do something productive, makes some changes, get organized. One of the things I needed to organize the most is my books. I have so many books, no joke! They are stacking up along all my walls, by the piles... I am not kidding... I got my laptop out, went straight to IKEA and BINGO, found some shelves for 20 bucks... YAY! I got in my car and headed straight there.
Now I have never been to IKEA, but my brother swears by it, and hey $20 bookshelves, who can beat that? So why not check it out.
OMG! That is all I can say... I LOVE IKEA!!!! I spent about 2 hours in there, just looking, yes looking. Finally I get to the area that had the bookshelves and spent another half hour deciding what shelf to get. I finally decided on the one that I wanted, $50 over budget, but hey I LOVE IT!!!! Now.... how to get it home. HHHMMMM....
I have an Acura RSX2, a very small car, in case you didn't know. But I was determined to get it home. I was going to fit it into my car... Somehow.....
Now I am a little person, and the shelves were bigger than me. So I had two problems.... How was I going to carry it, and how was it going to fit in my car?
If you had been there that day in the parking lot by the loading zone watching me, I am sure you would have gotten your laugh of the day.
Here I was trying to pick it up, slide it a car that was to small, but DETERMINED to make it fit, Oh, yeah I forgot to mention, it was hailing...... BAD!!!! (I have the bruises on my leg, and a knot on my head to prove it).
Well, finally an older man helped me and we made it fit!!! Mission accomplished!
So I drive home with my shelves in my car, the box is literally right between the two front seats, and yes I drive a stick, so shifting was difficult. Non the less I made it home....
Now to get it to my room. I was determined to do this by myself, No help, just me and my book shelf.
Carefully I maneuver the box that is taller than me, and weighs over half of what I weigh out of my car, in the house and down two flights of stairs. SUPER! I did it!
Now the hard part.... Assembly.... Now as I mentioned before this is not my strong suit. I am not good at this part, but again I was determined to do this by myself.
So I ripped open the box, got the instructions, pulled out my girlie tool kit my dad got me for Christmas, counted the parts according to the instructions and I was on my way.
So far so good.
After about an hour I was proudly looking at my new book shelf, completely assembled by yours truly! I was so excited, I don't think you can even imagine! Laugh all you want this is a big accomplishment for me. For once everything turned out right. I had no extra parts, and everything looked just right!
Now I can proudly look at my project and know I did it on my own. So you see I am not completely inefficient, I can do it, yes I can! I know most of you might be laughing, and hey that's ok, I am proud of myself, I am proud that I was able to do it on my own.
So yes in a nutshell I ROCK!!!!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Mentally Exhausted…..Or just checking out????
A little bit of both… I think… Time to prioritize my life, get back into gear, leave all the bullshit behind…. YUP, that is exactly what I need to do. So that is exactly what I am doing.
After a long and tedious summer, not one of the best might I add… I wrecked my car, didn’t get my dream job, procrastinated about going back to school, and had some not so great health problems. So I sulked for a while, felt sorry for myself, cried, and then realized I am being a baby…. Ok so everyone has their moments, this was defiantly one of mine. So I asked myself, what am I going to do about it?
I hate my current job, I hate it so much that I despise going to work everyday, and come home a complete bitch because of all the stupid shit I have to put up with all day. I have realized that my anxiety is solely related to my job…. HHHMMMM, change of pace I think so….
So what am I going to do about it? I am checking out, that is what I am going to do about it. I am so exhausted that I can’t even think. I should not be exhausted, I am young, I should be happy, content, experiencing life, or at least getting on with life.
I have some big changes ahead of me. I have been looking for a new job, so what if I didn’t get the job I really wanted, it just wasn’t meant to be. That perfect job is out there waiting, and if I don’t look I am never going to find it… I am however becoming an expert at interviewing
Next thing I registered for school, I start next month. I am really excited about this because I can get my teaching certificate and move out of the financial industry, not for a few years, but hey I am working on it, that is the important thing. They are taking all of my previous college credits, so that means I have almost 2 years to go before I get my bachelors degree… YAY for me… I think that this will keep me busy for a while, and give me something to look forward to…
Another thing I have been concentrating on is my writing, after all, my dream is to have at least one book published. Writing keeps me sane; it gets me going and is my true love, corny I know… Hey it is the truth. I may not become a famous writer, and that’s ok. I love to write more than anything, so making this a priority everyday is important. So far so good.
So in the next few months these are my goals and my priorities, so I may check out from time to time. I need to concentrate on me for a while, and get my mind and life in gear. I know I am taking the right steps in doing so and I feel good about it. People that hold me back or don’t support me, well you are not my friends and you can peace out…. Really you can…
I am probably going to be more exhausted than I am now, but bring it on… I am so ready for a change in pace….
After a long and tedious summer, not one of the best might I add… I wrecked my car, didn’t get my dream job, procrastinated about going back to school, and had some not so great health problems. So I sulked for a while, felt sorry for myself, cried, and then realized I am being a baby…. Ok so everyone has their moments, this was defiantly one of mine. So I asked myself, what am I going to do about it?
I hate my current job, I hate it so much that I despise going to work everyday, and come home a complete bitch because of all the stupid shit I have to put up with all day. I have realized that my anxiety is solely related to my job…. HHHMMMM, change of pace I think so….
So what am I going to do about it? I am checking out, that is what I am going to do about it. I am so exhausted that I can’t even think. I should not be exhausted, I am young, I should be happy, content, experiencing life, or at least getting on with life.
I have some big changes ahead of me. I have been looking for a new job, so what if I didn’t get the job I really wanted, it just wasn’t meant to be. That perfect job is out there waiting, and if I don’t look I am never going to find it… I am however becoming an expert at interviewing
Next thing I registered for school, I start next month. I am really excited about this because I can get my teaching certificate and move out of the financial industry, not for a few years, but hey I am working on it, that is the important thing. They are taking all of my previous college credits, so that means I have almost 2 years to go before I get my bachelors degree… YAY for me… I think that this will keep me busy for a while, and give me something to look forward to…
Another thing I have been concentrating on is my writing, after all, my dream is to have at least one book published. Writing keeps me sane; it gets me going and is my true love, corny I know… Hey it is the truth. I may not become a famous writer, and that’s ok. I love to write more than anything, so making this a priority everyday is important. So far so good.
So in the next few months these are my goals and my priorities, so I may check out from time to time. I need to concentrate on me for a while, and get my mind and life in gear. I know I am taking the right steps in doing so and I feel good about it. People that hold me back or don’t support me, well you are not my friends and you can peace out…. Really you can…
I am probably going to be more exhausted than I am now, but bring it on… I am so ready for a change in pace….
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