Searching

The true love of your life, does it come once in a life time? Do we know, and if we feel so inside do we try to fight for it at any cost? Your soul mate, some believe, some do not... You get one chance on this earth do you leave yourself open, or close? So many complications in love, to stay single, or live in love. Can anyone honestly answer me if they are happy in love? Is this just a fairy tail, like in the movies?
I chose once to believe in love, and he died. Everyone tells me I can't dwell on that, but how can anyone be who he was? A friend, lover, soul mate, best friend. That's hard to beat. How can you be so in love like that twice?
The weight of passion on your heart, our hearts, the heat, the feelings of never wanting to let go......... And knowing you will never hear or see that person again, my person. Do you take the chance of being alone, or do you open up to something new? The hurt deep down inside a feeling I can't express through my words knowing, only a dream in my mind of the passionate times, the fights, everything we experienced........together. All I have is my feelings, memories, letters, pictures, and thoughts.
The true love of your life, do you find it again? Right now that is only a question answered by a higher power.  Do I believe in a soul mate? I believe, he held a apart of my soul. Is there another out there that can hold another piece of my soul? Maybe. I have to admit, there is a lot to live up to. Friendship, Love, Trust, Unity. Open, close a mind set, damaged - controlled - loved - peace. Will we find the piece that we are looking for?

Friend/Enemies

Where do you draw the line? What is a good friend and a bad friend? Is there not some rule about not hooking up with the others hookup? Especially if they were dating? WOW! Small town - small people, gossip, and a lot of fucked up! You leave the big city to try to start over and it's all the same drama TIMES 10, because in a small town EVERYTHING is dramatized! I am over it! I have some job offers down south and I considering it. I just want out. I need to get out of here.  FRESH START-NEW............... We all feel that way. My friends are back in Denver, here they are all friend-enemies. I don't know if I will ever find the friends I have in Denver.   Maybe it's my fault. trust. damaged. so out of here. When the time is right I will put myself out there again. And I did twice. Well............ 3 times Once the guy fucked up, 2nd time he's moving (no fault) -3rd friend hooking up with fucked up guy after she told me how fucked up he was.............. OK my peace is said............. trust is done! It's complicated, and frankly my dear I don't have time for complicated!
xoxo